Tonight at 12:01 EST, I will be asleep wishing that my sleep would be eternal. Eternal, that is, up until April 24th where I can wake up at 11:59pm and have Dark Souls already preloaded on my Steam account. Since I cannot sleep like a bear (but God knows I try), I will be displacing myself from Twitch, imageboards, social media, the internet and anyone that has a mouth and likes to game with two thumbs on sticks. Tomorrow, Dark Souls II comes out for the PS3 and XBox360 and those with personal computation units will have to wait nearly a whole month to live in the zeitgeist. That is if you don’t get spoiled of every last detail from every single mouth breather that doesn’t have a conscious and a YouTube channel. Why the late release window? Probably piracy concerns. A lot of people weren’t huge fans of the admitted by Director Yui Tanimura “half-assed” pc port. Layer on a smear of the DRM and soul sucking service that was (thank God we can use past tense here) Games for Windows Live and people were all for ducking underneath the ropes and making a run for it with their wallets intact.
But really. Why is the PC version of Dark Souls II coming out after the console version? I can’t give you an answer and no one can outside of From Software. “Last time, we started working on PC after the console version was complete,” says Tanimura. “This time, because we are considering the PC from the beginning, you can be sure there will be more care put into PC development.” So the second time around would be different, right? That’s great but here’s the thing. The game is done. You would have to have the game in some kind of final form to push it to print and have it ship to the controller crowd. So what’s the hold up for the keyboard and mouse users? Are you turning up the graphics on the third level? Is the PC version getting more content other than 10 multicolored, agrocrag weapon sets? If it is, why have you not told anyone? That seems like a clear PR move rather expect us to double down on different platforms to play more content of- oh, you clever girls.
Either way goodbye, internet. I’ll see you when you have everything about anything in Dark Souls II on every orifice of visual media I normal visit. Maybe I’ll go outside and see this Spring everyone is talking about.
It’s another motivational list to finish up all the games I’ve never played and to make good on all the money I’ve spent! This time it’s online for the world to see 24/7. There’s a good range of games to play so if I get bored, I pretty much can conclude I hate video games.
Keep an eye to social media as most of this will be streamed for the world to watch me fall flat on my face and for you to backseat drive through all the early Metal Gear games.
I love playing closed betas. There’s something about getting to play a game early, run it through its paces and being that scrappy, little newspaper boy on the internet corner shouting, “Hey, everyone! This new game has the best mech[MESSAGE ERADICATED]” What just happened? The non-disclosure agreement just happened, buddy, and your beta account just got kick canned. What’s a non-disclosure agreement, or a NDA as the boys in the industry call it, you ask? It’s the agreement you sign stating a person can’t speak to a breathing living soul or inanimate object about what they’re doing. In this case, nobody can talk to their internet friends, post on NeoGAF, or console their feeling into their waifu pillow about what’s happening in a developer’s game without some internet justice being doled out.
I understand why it’s done. Dev’s don’t want any bad press put out on their game from the get go from unfinished content. And they’re right to do it, too. How many times have you seen, “Oh my God. This is my second time rebooting my game. #Suckshaaard!” from someone who’s playing an early access game, aka Steam’s beta gameplay wonderland? If I had a nickel for each time, I maybe could buy a gumball from the machine. It’s a shame though. There’s some people out there who have nothing but praise for a game knowing a closed beat means, for lack of a better term, “shit’s gunna get messy”. But since we have NDAs, this is how positivity looks: “[GAME NAME REDACTED] looks very [VISUAL]. It takes [SOMETHING] and [DOES SOMETHING WITH IT] that [MAY BE GOOD OR BAD]. It’s [ENOUGH TO INSERT AN ADJECTIVE ]. Oh, and don’t get me going on how [FEATURE A] and [FEATURE B] are [ALSO ENOUGH TO INSERT AN ADJECTIVE]. OVERALL [GAME], while unfinished, [IS BEING WORKED ON AND IS NO WAY A REFLECTION OF A FINISHED PRODUCT].” Sad.